Cosmic Consultant Prints

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

Science fiction fans on other planets

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

Shoot For The Moon

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.