Cosmic Comic Gifts

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Mr. Science Times

'I mean, you can imagine my surprise -I'm an atheist.'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

Alien

"Shoot! I forgot to turn off my data roaming!"

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

FATE...

"We've discovered intelligent life in Outer Space, based on how geeky they look."

What if there is no guiding consciousness that brings order to the universe. . . and what if there is no dinner?

That's right Darling, the earth is round and the Great Seal in the Sky is balancing it on its nose...

'I don't understand the meaning of the whole Universe yet - I'm only 23.'

An astronaut with a little alien drilling into his helmet.

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

'They've come up with something called 'Daylight Saving Time,' and I'm darned if I can understand it.'

'Every time I get reincarnated again, everything is even MORE expensive!'

'Those moon craters look strangely familiar.'

The Moon Made from Cheese

'See the ring Pal, I'm married.'

'Good to see you, Doc! I wonder if you could take a look at my left upper arm that hurts when I do this?'

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

Phone call from heaven.

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and I don't even feel a breeze."

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"We only got six days of funding."

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."