Cosmic Comedians T-Shirts

Xmas comet

"Oh, look—here's the one from last night!"

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

'What do you mean you've lost the key?'

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"Each person sees himself as a uniquely precious miracle of life but honestly, to me they all taste like chicken."

"It really makes you feel insignificant doesn't it."

"There is neither water nor life on this planet! There is only a huge crater full of brown, muddy... Heck, what is this crap?"

"I use hormone free birth control!"

"Is it absolutely necessary to have a new moon every month?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Very Early Tick Box Feedback Form Time Line

"Atheists are lucky I'm not real!"

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'I think we've got something.'

'Wouldn't you know it? -- I sliced it right into Purgatory!'

'Mom. Is there life on other plants?'

Holes: regular, black, with cream.

"We're already running late, Twok! If no one will let you merge, just nose your way in there!"

"We'd better NOT fill up on Earth - I've heard it's very expensive!"

Butt Dialing on Uranus

They Even Use Astronomy to Screw Workers

Anyone need to go?

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"A shooting star! Make a wish, Billy, you ugly doofus."

Spaceman using a toilet in space

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.

Spiro & Pusho meet an alien.

'Just be patient -- we'll land as soon as they push the immigration bill through.'

Interstellar Travel Rage

'Put this one in the isolation unit.'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

The arc of time & space: Naptime, primetime, snacktime, warptime.

'So our ancestors came here from another planet? That's so cool! . . . Cuz that means we come from the best of the best in the galaxy!...Or this is just a big penal colony.'