Cosmetic Procedure Fan T-Shirts

'Botox...' - pumpkin faces

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Hairstyles

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Surgery Instructions.

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"You must be new around here, pardner."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

Door-to-Door Liposuction.

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

A man with a unibrow sneezes and the unibrow becomes his moustache.

Somebody had a face-lift.

In hindsight, a hook hand was stupidly impractical.

"You've got some beard in your food."

'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'

"You end up with the face you can afford."

'Sometimes I sort of miss pre-hair-restorer-Timothy...'

"Here's his medical directive."

'Jungle hair.'

sleeping teeth

Budget Toupees.

'Do you mind if I grow a beard?' 'Okay. As long as you don't wear it in the house.'

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

Scalpel.

'Okay then, Irene, I won't mention your face-lift and you don't say anything about my implants!'