Cosmetic Consumer Gifts

Face Cream with Highly Moronic Acid

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Woman applying makeup

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"More concealer?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

"She's had a lot of work done."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'Will your wrinkle cream work on these trousers, Mavis?'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'Mildred....is that you?'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.