Corsair Crooner T-Shirts

'He's murder on the high C's.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Turkey Autopsy

Bryan Ferry

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Turkey Autopsy

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'Confirming the belief that music and math are related, I will now sing some lovely French equations.'

"Curiosity."

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

'It's a cursor.'

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

"I just love take-out."

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'