Corporations Gifts

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

'If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?'

Google Earth...

Rats in a Cage

Crackdown on Corporate Torturers

"Don't try to tell me you never so much as guessed that I might be running this corporation!"

Modern witchKraft.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'That's our mission statement.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Spot the difference.

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Storm in the out tray

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Welcome to the Team

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."