Corporate Workers Pillows

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

'Jack, can you prove that Harrison stabbed you in the back?'

'To help our brainstorming, John's going to bang his drum and scream at the top of his lungs.'

'One thing all our employees share, is a conviction they must have done something horrible in a past life, to work here.'

Hidden Agenda

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

"That may be, but if you-know-who loses his protected status we're all out on our butts."

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'Then it's moved and seconded that the compulsory retirement age be fixed at twentyfive'

'How are things at work?'

Labor Day

A Visit From The Parent Company

"Welcome Death, Inc."

"How do they tell each other apart?"

"I want my work to be challenging, but not so challenging that it destroys my life, family and relationships."

"We have to let you go. Your family paid the ransom."

'Team Work Equals a Mob Mentality.'

'They didn't kick me upstairs after all -- they threw me down the elevator shaft!'

'She didn't actually fire me...she's transferred me to the private sector.'

'How long's he been out there?'

"It's a misunderstanding, Simmons. Of course you can bring your comfort cow to work."

"You the new intern?"

"I thought about going into business but I couldn't stand the sight of greed."

"In these challenging times we all have to make sacrifices. . . And you're MINE."

"It's an extreme reaction to being asked to do the tea run."

Strive for Excellence

"Congratulations on your retirement, Simmons. . ."

"I think we need to revisit our packaging policy."

"Martin seems to be happy here, but wait 'til he's been here a day."

'You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.'

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

"Jobbymoons" For The Rest of Us

My brilliant career