Corporate Team Member Pillows

"Everybody, this is Scott...my management trainee."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This position has become very important to the company."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's our mission statement.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Work/Life Balance

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'