Corporate Slang Enthusiast Gifts

'It's better than a raise. I'm giving you unlimited use of my favorite buzzwords.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"At this office no two days are different."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"We have an acronym!"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Parade of Businessmen

Office pics on dinner table.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Thesaurus Company

"I think you might need to start again."

The role of administration.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'