Corporate Seer Pillows

'I'm here to work on my company's vision.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Larry's snout was as clean as a whistle...this made some a little edgy.

Suggestion Box.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'

'We don't need helicopter vision, Manfred. We need a helicopter.'

A self-filling prophecy.

99 Cent Store

...Unemployment rising... 'I knew the employment bubble would burst eventually.'

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

'I want someone who is smart, cunning and ruthless, but also someone who is too dumb to try for my job.'

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"I'll be right back."