Corporate Schmoozer Pillows

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I see everyone got the memo.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'But this is what you demanded; a corner office with Windows.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Looks like another profit's warning

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'