Corporate Salesperson Gifts

"Eddie, my favourite rep - you've got three minutes."

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'That's our mission statement.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."