Corporate Relocation Gifts

'Help! I've been kicked upstairs!'

Don't worry about it Henderson, we're not taking you.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Between Offices

You are here.

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

While You Were Out: We Moved!

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"I'm sending you to Siberia. Your job is remaining here."

We never roam anymore.

Jungle Taxi

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"I found the perfect job! You don't do any work, stay at home, make funny videos, and you get full salary and benefits!!"

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha