Corporate Mascot Gifts

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Urban Gorilla

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Shake it all about sign on desk

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I see everyone got the memo.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

Brainstorm in progress.