Corporate Language Aficionado Pillows

"We've had to replace 'fat cat bonuses' with 'amortised emoluments with enhanced front-loaded bonuses.'"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?