Corporate Kiddo Pillows

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

"I'm aware of that. Fortunately there are no child management laws."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"He likes it."

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

Pizza time.

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

Children's imagination

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

'This company wants someone who can screw the clients but who is quite happy to be screwed by me.'