Corporate Irony Seeker Pillows

'Here's where accounting went all ethical on us.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'All work and no play may make you dull, but it also makes you Vice President.'

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

"By golly, if I can make it an enjoyable environment then it's no longer work, it's fun!..."

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

'We're not really sure WHAT he does. He seems to just sit there and glow!'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

Day One of training for the typical new worker.

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'Willowby, you have great leadership potential. That's why I'm getting rid of you now.'

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

"That efficiency expert you hired said I should get rid of you."

The first item on the agenda is redundancies - anybody want to volunteer?

"Such a shame when he was THIS close to emptying his inbox!"

'Our aims may be high but our sights are low.'

Corporate Special Effects.

"Your former boss says you lack empathy - I'm putting you in HR."

"Isn't, 'buzzword' a buzzword?"

'After reviewing your job performance...'

"We've cut away all the fat now we have to look at staffing costs!"

'Rick, could you take a seat somewhere else, please? For me to be seen with you is damaging to business!'