Corporate Hacker Gifts

"Well, no, I didn't get the raise . . . but I did manage to break into the company's corporate account!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

Gadget geek.

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"Careful! He knows computers."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Responsibility and duties

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."