Corporate Ethics Debater Pillows

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Water company bonus.

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

Sportswasher's

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'