Business Ethics Debater Pillows

'Of course it's ethical! It's just business ethical instead of ethical ethical.'

'I prefer a simple classic approach - lying.'

'My integrity is important to me so I can sell it to the highest bidder.'

"How come every time I'm in a good mood, everybody automatically suspects me of predatory capitalism?"

"Your idea might be half baked and illegal but if it adds to our profit margin - it's great!"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Water company bonus.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'