Corporate Elites T-Shirts

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."