Corporate Cutthroat Culture Fan Gifts

'The first rule in business, mother, is to never trust anyone. Now go back and walk through the metal detector...slowly.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Let's Celebrate

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Greed.

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."