Corporate Conversationalist Pillows

Liquidity Lunch

'I hope I'm not embarrassing you when I say that I found your company's latest earnings report very sexy.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"Well it's been nice doing business with you. Maybe we could meet for lunch some time?"

'The notion that 'money can't buy happiness' seems counter-intuitive.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'I'm feeling a sense of conclusion here, so let's draw things to a close.'

We all know the negotiation table, but how about the negotiation chair?

"I've called you here to discuss some issues because this big sissy didn't have the guts."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."