Corporate Clowns Pillows

Businessman Panhandling

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

How are you at decision making?

Shake it all about sign on desk

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Scapegoat of the Year

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."