Corporate Climber Gifts

"Vision: It's what took a small workshop in the North Pole and turned it into the massive global enterprise we know today."

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

"I made partner!"

'Did you get any feedback on that audit report?'

No-one ever leaves Goldman Sachs voluntarily

Out of Focus Group

'How may I help you?'

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

"I'm looking to hire a C.F.O. Anyone interested?"

'Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.'

"I'm sorry. When I told everybody that we started in the mailroom together, I didn't realize you were still there."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"And that's when he realized he wasn't on the partner track at all!"

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

'You are here.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Attention, everyone. Our CEO will be touring the department in ten minutes. Please take the 'Change is Good' placards out of your lower desk drawers, dust them off, and hang them in a prominent place. Thank you!'

'I'm trying to decide if it's more likely I know nothing about leading or everyone I work with knows nothing about following.'

'Don't let it throw you - It's just a negotiating tactic.'

"Do you ever worry that you've had to sacrifice your femininity to succeed?"

"Well, Stoddard, I think I've bounced enough ideas off you for one day."

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Now I want you to reflect on these corporate values and see how they compare with your private priorities."

'Refresh my memory, Ms. Hamish. Which little square am I - on the organizational chart?'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

"Well, get some new numbers or I'm getting a new numbers guy."

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'My policy is to stay in close contact with my employees . . . figuratively speaking.'

'Sure it's a partnership, Elwood, but it's a limited partnership, and you're the one who's limited.'

One man thinking 'merger', the other thinking 'takeover'.

A fight in the Boardroom.

'My ability to adapt is the key to my success.'

'What I'm challenging this group to do, then, is to redirect our shared passion for the idea of making money into actually making money!'

'Well, SURE they'd like me to come up with bold and innovative ideas...but I've got a career to protect!'