Corporate Climbers Gifts

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

"You're in luck. We have an opening for low man on the totem pole."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

Remembers: Elevators can go down as well as up.

'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'I tell this to all recent hires. Good enough is neither good nor enough.'

'We're ready to move you to the top, Hopkins... but we don't know how much loneliness you can tolerate.'

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

The back of a boss' desk which reads 'Focus'.

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting

Call me Nancy.

Corporate Protocol

"Portrait? - what portrait ?"

Micromanage / Nanomanage

'I'll push the buttons around here.'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

"Logistically impressive Hodges, but does this qualify you for a leadership role in the company?"

Workaholics anonymous meeting.

It had taken nine months, but Jim was finally ready to go back into his boss's office and claim his raise.

"Liked your proposal, but like everything, it's on the back burner."

"I hate performance review season."

Man climbs a ladder only to find the word HELP.

'Well, well, well - so today is your 50th anniversery with the company, eh? The company my dear old Dad founded way back in the fifties - Go ahead, help yourself to some biscuits.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'