Corporate Catchphrase Enthusiast Pillows

Business Mantras 2 for $5

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

The MBA Draft

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Office pics on dinner table.

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

The role of administration.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'