Corporate Annual Event Gifts

"Then it's agreed, we'll shift the blame around the table till it gets to you."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Inclusive speech

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"