Corporate Accountability Advocate Pillows

Volkswagen emissions

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Working in a blame culture?

Johnson and Johnson will pay 572 million for Opioids

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

Investigating Yourself

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Facebook in Crisis

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Civilian Oversight

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

'It's not our fault.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

Jobless Recovery

"I have nothing to hide."

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

A Breakdown in Process

Nassar is caught while MSU officials remain.

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'Stick to your diet or our talking scale will rat you out!'

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.

'I'm a man of my word! Once I've made a wrong decision, I stick to it!'

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

'Smith, throw him out the back and say a truck hit him.'

Amazon Strike

'Does anyone see a reason why this new market strategy shouldn't move forward?...It's more an illegal scheme than a strategy, not to mention awfully immoral...in other words, blah blah blah windfall profits blah...'

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."