Corporate Accountability Advocate Pillows

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Working in a blame culture?

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Facebook in Crisis

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

"I have nothing to hide."

Jobless Recovery

'It's not our fault.'

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

Nassar is caught while MSU officials remain.

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.

'Stick to your diet or our talking scale will rat you out!'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'I'm a man of my word! Once I've made a wrong decision, I stick to it!'

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

'Smith, throw him out the back and say a truck hit him.'

Amazon Strike

'Does anyone see a reason why this new market strategy shouldn't move forward?...It's more an illegal scheme than a strategy, not to mention awfully immoral...in other words, blah blah blah windfall profits blah...'

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

"I've been trying for days, but I can't get hold of the Superintendent for Accountability."

'We improved it? We thought YOU improved it!'