Corona Punster Pillows

Flea Collars

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

I think you're ace

Sweep the board.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Comicron

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dogs life

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Sisyphus during Covid

Vaccinating Death

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Kamikaze Colour

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'