Cop Comedy Fans Pillows

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Not much cop are you!'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"We're all metric now..."

The Codfather.

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

Therapy among thieves

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"