Cool Mom Collector T-Shirts

'Dude, you shouldn't let your mom ride your skateboard.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Ball as water-melon.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Elton John

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Maternity tattoos

You just keep giving.

Laptops

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Baby face

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

At the modern antenatal class.

Add your kids' ages together...

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

'I can't wait till I outgrow my role as an accessory.'

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

Mother and Baby

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

'That's typical as soon as you snap on the light, they disappear.'

Easter Egg Heads

'Dang...too fast food!'