Cooking Show Marathoner Pillows

'The weight gain began when we locked out all the sex and violence on TV...that only left the cooking shows.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Too much cilantro

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Succession 2

Binge Watch

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Birthday To-Do List

Inactive wear store.

"There's nothing on worth watching and we've been watching for three hours."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'