Cooking Show Marathoner Pillows

'The weight gain began when we locked out all the sex and violence on TV...that only left the cooking shows.'

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

American Idle.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Too much cilantro

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Keith Floyd.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Succession 2

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Binge Watch

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Starvation Watching

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

"There's nothing on worth watching and we've been watching for three hours."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Inactive wear store.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'