Cooking School Student Gifts

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Picking pastries.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Man's cooking explodes.

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'