Cookies Gifts

'Somehow, Jeffrey McCoy got hold of a medical alert bracelet that says 'requires daily cookie'.'

Accept cookies?

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

Hungry labradors online.

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Don't stare at his icing.'

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'So...your idea is to sue milk and cookie companies for making you obese?'

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Wait, this seems way too easy!"

'Alright...who's hand is this in the cookie jar?'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

Wise Guy Cookies

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"That's odd...they left me cookies, but no milk."

Newton discovers the cookie.

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Sore knee, huh? Have you tried icing it?

"Girl scout liquers?"

"The cookies are always stale."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Damn it, Merv!"

Monster eating furniture,

Gingerbread Men Fear Santa.

"This is the last year I'll personally deliver your cookies. I'm buying a drone."

Cookie Shop. New Year's Resolutions Broken Here. Frank, you're already giving up on your resolution to lose weight? Yes, but I'm keeping my resolution to frequently these old friends! The last ten days I've discovered that it's hard to lose weight as we get older and our eyesight declines. What does eyesight have to do with it? It's very difficult to hit a target weight when that target looks so tiny compared to my current weight!

One smart cookie

"Ho! Ho! Ho! WHo's been a good boy?!"

I heard you were giving out free red-white-and-blue cookies for Election Day. That was last week. I know. But you didn't specify it was for the presidential election. They're voting today for hall monitor at Octavia Butler Elementary School in Pasadena. Technically, that means it's "Election Day." Cookie me now, cookie boy, or I sue for false advertising. Get out.