Cookie Substitutes T-Shirts

"Santa, sorry for the soy milk and vegan fig bars - Caleb."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The roof needs icing.'

Miracle Mom #5,293

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"The cookies are always stale."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

A complimentary biscuit