Cookie Monster Gifts

"I could really go for a cookie...but there are only two left, and the kids will be home in an hour! If I eat one, they'll fight over the other one!"

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"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'So...your idea is to sue milk and cookie companies for making you obese?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'And when you remove the cookies from the computer, just remove them, don't eat them.'

'I wish I was your height. My mom keeps the cookies on the top shelf where I can't reach them.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Shhhhh...they're in here somewhere. Dad's always talking about the cookies in his computer."

'Because it's there!'

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

'Too much milk, too many cookies.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

"The computer asked if I accepted cookies. Dumb question, huh?"

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

Statue of Limitations.

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'

"I sent my husband over with a bowl of cookies this morning and I haven't seen him since. Do you mind if I have my bowl back?"

kid compares cookie jar to mother's ATM.

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Hey, who ate all the heads off my gingerbread women?"

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"We texted you for cookies about 10 minutes ago. We don't like to be kept waiting Amber."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout candyyyy - I mean cookies?"

Cookie Thief

"Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share."

'How many more times must I tell you to leave that biscuit tin alone?'

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

This won't end well

"Cookies now? Or cookies later?"

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Someone gave my toddler a cookie. Now that's all he'll eat. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a small child. One day, eccentric old Adelaide Chestersmithe down the street fed me a marmalade cookie. I was hooked. Mother Cohen exacted revenge by feeding laxatives to Mrs. Chestersmithe's pet orangutan. To put it mildly, she got her point across: Never give anyone's kid a "treat" without permission. Um ... Ok ... Thanks.