Christmas Cookie Monster Gifts

'I lost weight just by cutting back on all the milk and cookies!'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The roof needs icing.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

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"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

Accept cookies?

'Because it's there!'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

Cookie Thief

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

I see bread people! A scary movie in Wonderland.

12;24. 11:15. 11:45. I can't continue to tell Mrs. Claus the fib that I hardly ever eat the cookies that are left out for me. She figured out how to hack into security camera streams all over the world last year.

He's Tasty!

Santa's Nightmares

M.D. Robotics. Oil. Stop downloading so many cookies.

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'