Conviction Enthusiasts Pillows

"I was destined to become a martyr…I've always had that fire in my belly."

Trial by Media

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

True confessions.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"You can't plead cute."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

First Prize!

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Conspiracy Cat

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

World Financial Mafia

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'