Justice Enthusiasts Pillows

"They say time is money. I had a very generous judge."

The speed of justice.

'Never mind the root causes!'

"Yes, please approach the bench...but not too close."

'That defense lawyer was really brilliant at jury selection...just ask the defendant!'

Brett Kavanaugh

'A Bank here, A bank there; it all adds up. They gave me 20 years.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'Considering my client's age, Your Honor, life could be a long time.'

'They put me on the honor system.'

'My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.'

Capture of Hector Beltran Leyva

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Wal-Mart Ruling

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury