Conversion Narrative Enthusiast Prints

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Thomas Keneally

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Toni Morrison

'In lieu of a Christmas bonus, I'm going to read you a story.'

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

Fresh Blood In Politics

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

Great literary festival heckles.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

Unreliable Narrator

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

Fun at the Office #523: LUTHER LOOSEFOGLE BECOMES A SUPERVISOR

'Yes! After eight months hard graft it's finished, now onto Chapter Two...'

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

'Spinach: The Prequel'

Made in China

"Have you considered writing this story in the third monkey rather than the first monkey?"

'Looking back after living 900 years, my biggest regret is taking early retirement.'