Conversation Champion T-Shirts

"I'm feeling nostalgic. Let's look at each other when we talk."

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"Should we keep talking about it calmly or go on the Internet and get scared about it?"

"I try to focus all my sexual energy on sex."

"The lost art of conversation isn't lost at all. It's been kidnapped and held hostage by your sister-in-law."

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"Billy, it's pretty rude to come to my house and tell my dad he can't speak Spanish."

Silencing women's opinions

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Couples' therapy

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

WHO checklist

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"You don't need to be anti-white to be pro-black."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

Dadonomics

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

Civil Discourse Reenactors