Contract Whisperers T-Shirts

"Great, I'll have my people threaten your people."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

Duplass Brothers

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

WWW.World.com

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."