Insurance Whisperer T-Shirts

The insurance company says we can't insure the car till we scrape the Ralph Nader sticker off.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Ukraine War Clouds

'Are you hiding something from me?'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

'We're just not reaching the group between young marrieds and senior citizens.'

Poor Customer Service

'It was such a nice salesman who told me that this is a special bargain and all your friends will envy you when you use it as a bottle opener!'

"I haven't been this pessimistic about investing since yesterday."