Contract Chameleon Gifts

And this is Jim, one of our old hands - he's been here well before lunch!

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

Farmer's Market.

"Charlie Greider... that rascal! I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be shedding his skin and moving on to a bigger company before too long!"

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"He retired as an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

Corporate Lawyers

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'You're a model - what sort, dear?'

'After 30 years around here, Jenkins has the ability to assume the tones and textures of his environment.'

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

"Tell me again, Dad, how you started in the mailroom."

"Yes, many of us have had life changes since you switched focus to Environmental Law."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'I understand your trainer used to be a dog trainer.'