Contraception Navigator T-Shirts

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Bad for you but to die for

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

Meeting. 'Meh.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

Shrink

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

'They're not reliable.'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'