Continental Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Honey, I fear, to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

Louis Armstrong

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Creation of Red Wine

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Dog Walker

The Cremaster Cycle

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Shaved Ice

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Chinese History: Redwash

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

3D Theatre

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'