Continental Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Honey, I fear, to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Creation of Red Wine

The Cremaster Cycle

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Dog Walker

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Shaved Ice

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Chinese History: Redwash

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

3D Theatre

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Moliere