Contestant Lifestyles Gifts

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Rhea of the Year.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

A Man mixing up his sports.

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"I'm feeling generous."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

Witches of LA

Space Hopper Rodeo

Vegan Cat

'You can't call it a fluke after forty-three wins.'

Bet You're Chicken!

"And in this corner, your 'friend' who is always doing just a little bit better than you."

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

Sadojazzachists

"He never fit in, so this is how he wanted to be remembered."

Flies 'n' Maggots tattoo

"He loved the beach."

"It's your turn."