Contest Fan Mugs

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

The Sculptor

'I win!'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'Rhea of the Year.'

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

Hospital gown pageant.

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

"Foul!"

Tug the Toggle

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

You are no longer in jeopardy.

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'

"We demand more money! We're not carol singers! We're future X Factor contestants!"

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

The Apprentice

Mind Your Valuable Grey Matter

Knobbly knees champion

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

"Funnily enough, I do actually have two left feet..."

Redneck Wet T-shirt Contest

'I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen.'

Winner of Horse jumping competition hit by loser

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.